Reimagining Separation: Dr. Barbara Landau’s Mission to Resolve Family Conflict with Compassion
In a society where separation and divorce are often synonymous with emotional turmoil and prolonged court battles, Dr. Barbara Landau offers a radically different—and profoundly hopeful—alternative. A pioneer in Canadian mediation, psychologist, lawyer, author, human rights advocate, and member of the Order of Canada, Dr. Landau has dedicated her life to resolving conflict through empathy, understanding, and peaceful solutions.
In a recent interview with Dirty Laundry TV at 1166 Bay Street, Dr. Landau shared the personal stories and professional milestones that led her to establish Separation Pathways—a groundbreaking nonprofit helping families navigate separation with compassion and cooperation.
A Personal Journey Fueled by Empathy
Dr. Landau’s passion for peaceful conflict resolution began in childhood, shaped by her family’s history. Her mother, a child of divorce during the Depression, grew up amidst financial insecurity and social stigma. Dr. Landau’s decision to find her estranged grandfather years later taught her the profound importance of hearing both sides of a story—a principle that now underpins her work in mediation. Her early volunteer work with immigrant families and her role with the Canadian Civil Liberties Association deepened her resolve to support vulnerable individuals. Her decade-long role as Chief Psychologist at Toronto’s Family Court Clinic exposed her to the emotional chaos inflicted on children in high-conflict separations. “Parents may end their relationship—but for most children, parents are forever,” she emphasizes.Pioneering Family Mediation in Canada
Before “mediation” was a familiar term, Dr. Landau created “Problem Solving Conferences” at the Family Court Clinic, inviting parents to resolve disputes collaboratively. These sessions, free to the public, helped avoid litigation—and laid the foundation for the future of cooperative family law in Canada. Later, as a lawyer and founding member of the Ontario Association for Family Mediation, she trained lawyers and mental health professionals to become mediators. Her textbook, now in its 7th edition as The Family Dispute Resolution Handbook, became a cornerstone for professionals in the field. Her approach was pragmatic and transformative: “Hire me as your lawyer, and one person pays the full fee—or hire me as your mediator at less than half the cost.” Most couples chose the path of peace.What Is Separation Pathways?
Born from decades of advocacy and experience, Separation Pathways is a nonprofit online service offering affordable, out-of-court resolutions for separating couples who want a cooperative process. It is not for those entrenched in anger or facing serious safety concerns, but for the 85% of self-represented individuals in family court who often don’t know a better way exists. The process is simple and transparent: four clearly defined, fully costed steps lead to a legally binding Separation Agreement—complete with legal review. Professionals agree to work at reduced rates, ensuring access for those who need it most. The result? Lower conflict, faster resolution, and better outcomes for children. Former clients now refer others—a testament to the impact.When Mediation Makes All the Difference
Dr. Landau’s anecdotes are heart-wrenching and inspiring. In one harrowing case, a child’s drawing during a mediation session revealed signs of abuse. Through sensitive handling, Dr. Landau secured the child’s safety with full cooperation from both parents—avoiding a traumatic court battle. Another story involved Ruby, a child distressed by her parents’ conflict. Her creative solution—two homes in the same neighborhood—ended the fighting. Ten years later, Ruby appeared in one of Dr. Landau’s mediation classes, inspired to follow in her footsteps.Children often provide the most insightful feedback in mediation, identifying practical concerns adults may overlook: “Who will feed my dog if I’m away?”, “How will the school bus find me?”, or “Can my parents attend my faith service at different times?”
Family Law’s Evolving Future
According to Dr. Landau, the future of family law is clear: court battles are becoming the alternative, while out-of-court resolution is now the preferred choice. Terms like “custody” and “access” are being replaced with shared parenting models. Even provinces like B.C. are leading reforms to recognize property rights for common-law couples—especially crucial when children are involved. Dr. Landau also sees an expanded role for paralegals and affordable professionals, giving more families access to justice without breaking the bank.Practical Mediation Tips
“One day, your grandchildren will hear the story of your separation. What do you want them to hear?”She encourages parents to view mediation as a business-like “Parenting Board Meeting.” Keep emotions in check. Speak to your mirror—not your ex—when angry. Focus on shared goals, like your children’s well-being. And don’t get caught up fighting over lawn mowers you’ll never use.
What’s Next for Separation Pathways?
Excitingly, Separation Pathways is now a registered charity. The next step: expanding services across Canada, reaching more families in need, and offering specialized training for family professionals to build their skills in cooperative conflict resolution.“We LOVE our model,” says Dr. Landau, “and we want to bring it to every province.”