‘Good’ divorce: is it possible to have one? What professionals and tried-and-true ex-partners say helps.
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The aim should always be a peaceful divorce, particularly if you have children. A newly divorced father expressed, “There’s a lot of emotion,”
About ten years ago, Carlo DeVito’s marriage ended in what he describes as a “pretty amicable” divorce.
According to DeVito, “We did everything we could to make it as seamless as possible.” He went out and had a drink with his ex-wife when it was time to sign the separation agreement.
DeVito claimed that the fact that he and his ex took their time to determine they would undoubtedly be divorcing each other contributed to the cordial character of their divorce; When they finally did, their main concern was acting with the utmost decency and civility. In order to help the former couple decide on a settlement and parenting schedule before they even consulted with a lawyer, DeVito’s ex also conducted a great deal of internet research.
DeVito stated, “We really wanted to make sure that our kids weren’t going to be adversely affected because we were both the children of divorce.” We made an effort not to turn it into a show. The idea of fighting it out in court was something (we didn’t want to) pursue. That was not going to benefit our children at all.
Not that it was simple.
He remarked, “There’s a lot of emotion there and it’s tough but you have to figure it out.”
Certain separations are undoubtedly preferable to others, even though it may not always be feasible to have a successful divorce. I think most of us would prefer not to be involved in an expensive, drawn-out legal drama with unsightly scenes.
In an effort to help couples avoid the conflict, Separation Pathways is a new non-profit organization that provides materials and mediation. One of the leading authorities on family law and mediation in the nation, Barbara Landau, is the creator of the project and a recipient of the Order of Canada.